An Outdoors Evening With The Boys!

Today, our power went out (PG&G's behalf) so I took the boys outside. First we visited the play ground.

Vang whined 'cause he had to wait for us to 

adjust the swing. 

Lee always have a good time! 

Finally smiling after he was pushed high in the swing. 

And then we went to the garden. I had the boys helped with picking 

mustard greens for their grandparent's dinner. 

And I made boiled pork with mustard greens; 

the lemon grass gives the soups so much freshness! 

And upon going inside, Lee grabbed his long lost friend, 

"cock-o-dial" and took him home. 

It's nice to spend time with the boys and be active with them but gosh, when someone else bothers them so much and they cry and cry, I get so frustrated! I make them both sit down at the kitchen table and eat their dinner without any television (which their parents always allow) 'cause I was so frustrated! By turning off the T.V., Lee ate hastily and didn't complain at all! I shall turn it off more often! 

I Found Love

Hopeless as it may seem, there's no turning away.

Our Christmas Cards

Something sentimental for keepsakes. 

I miss Tut, finally.

The amazing body goes into shock when we experience trauma so we can survive. This explains your sense of calmness, numbness.

I miss Tut. I'm no longer in shock.

Plus Size Fashion

Terrified

When you love someone, the most terrifying thing isn't that they won't love you back but that they actually do.

We finally embraced for the first and second time on 10/22/11. I don't think it was anything special but it sure is real. 

Meeting Destiny

How would you feel, how would you react knowing you'll be meeting the person you're destined for?

Just 16 more hours and we'll meet. I can't say he's my destiny but I'm anxious.

Thanks for this very special song by Lady Antebelllum, butterflies are swarming my stomach.

18 Clan Council Can Kiss My ASS!

http://www.wausaudailyherald.com/article/20111016/WDH06/110160413/18-Clan-Council-sets-new-rules-Domestic-violence-victims-their-families-now-can-seek-recourse?odyssey=mod|newswell|text|FRONTPAGE|s


Just let us revert, huh? 


After so many years of progress, of civilization, these dumb asses are resorting to problem solving back in the old Hmong days? Seriously?! In that case, I need to get in touch with the elders of my Vue clan, memorize their numbers, and call them for approval (to take action against my husband) when my husband is abusing me! Idiots! Who would've thought of such a thing!


Why do this council get to trump with the law? I don't even understand why Marathon County will allow such a thing! If a crime is committed, I would like this council to be tried and convicted for its involvement in trumping the law.


If my husband is Sam Worthington (just using Sam as an example of being in a interracial marriage), I don't think he'll abide by Hmong cultural to pay for my funeral (but will surely pay for my wake out of the goodness of his heart and that he loves me).  That's the problem with Hmong people; they're so greedy! If a member of your family die, will you not pull together to pay for the funeral and will you say, it's the responsibility of the husband's and his family's? These policies are useless!!!


I'm disgusted! 


Let's protest! 

Ob Peb Lub (My short story about sharing)

Here's a short story about sharing based on my childhood! Enjoy! 

Ying’s children surrounded an oversized bowl of cheese balls on the floor and Ying visits with some unexpected guests. The guests were two women, a mother and her daughter-n-law, and the daughter-n-law’s young son. They came to visit Ying’s mother-n-law but she was still at the hospital, where Ying’s husband spends most of his time now. Since the guests showed up unexpectedly and Ying had already welcomed them into her home, there’s no time to have her children relocate their feast of cheese balls, hence, the children munched on in front of the guests.

      The guests sat on the couch with Ying, diligently having conversations about Ying’s mother-n-law’s condition and then shifted onto their observations of the house as Ying didn’t know too much of her mother-n-law’s condition. A moment later Ying stepped away and came back and offered the guests some water. The young son looked with wide eyes at Ying’s children. It was obvious that he too, wanted to join the cheese ball feast or at least, have some.

      “Fwm, muab rau nws noj thiab mas (Fue, give him some too),” Ying advised her eldest son, an eight year old.

        “Muab puas tsawg lub rau nws mas(How much should I give him)?” Fue questioned. I don’t want to give him too much, I don’t even know him.

      “Muab ob peb lub rau nws (Give him a few),” Ying smiled a bit nervously. How can I explain this term to him? He only understands an exact amount. I can’t tell him exactly how much to share. How will it make me look in front to these guests? I don’t want them to think I’m greedy.

      “Ob peb lub yog puas tsawg mas (how much is that)?" Fue is now confused with the term “ob peb lub”. Two, three, that doesn’t make any sense. Do I give him two? Three? Two plus three is five, five cheese balls for a complete stranger? That is too much.

      “Ob peb lub ces yog ob peb lub xwb (a few means a few),” Ying giggled. Hopefully, he’ll figure it out. Her two guests giggled with the entertainment of the confused but adorable Fue.

      “Tabsis, qhia kuv sev ob peb lub yog puas tawg mas (but tell me how much is a few).” Do I give him a handful? No, that’s too much. Two cheese balls is not enough either. How much should I give him? Fue looked at his mother but she was already saying something to the guests. He looked to his siblings for an answer. They all just munched on without a care about Fue’s dilemma. “Muab ob peb rau nws noj mas,” Fue’s sister mocked what was being told to Fue. But how much is that? Fue thought for a moment. He ran to the kitchen and grabbed a small empty bowl and placed it next to the oversized bowl of cheese balls upon his return. I’ll just do this and hopefully I’m right. Ob. Fue squatted and grabbed a handful of cheese balls but with his kid size hand, he was only able to grab three cheese ball. Peb. Fue grabbed at the cheese balls again, this time gripping four balls. Lub. Another handful went into the smaller bowl. There, that’s more than five; and it’s more than enough, hopefully everyone will be happy. Fue got up and handed the bowl of cheese balls to the daughter-n-law’s young son and smiled, “Noj os (eat).” The young son looked at Fue with his wide eyes and took the bowl with his mother’s encouragement.

      “Aws, li kov mas; ob peb lub cev yog li kov mas (yes, do that, a few is that)," Ying applaud Fue. The guests also applauded Fue for being clever and figuring out what out the meaning of “ob peb lub”. Ying is proud of her son. He didn’t showcase any greed. One day, he’ll do well for the family. She smiled at Fue. Fue turned his focus to eating the cheese ball, over stuffing his mouth as if to make up for time loss.  

How To Consume Bacon

I don't eat bacon but I'd put turkey bacon into the vermicelli dish (an easy substitute of the usual grilled pork or chicken) 

And I'd put turkey bacon into spring rolls (a cheap substitute of the usual Asian meatloaf) 

Our Differences

He's old fashion, I'm more relaxed.


With the knowledge of me smiling while talking to a stranger, if it looks like I'm having a good chat, he automatically assumes the worse of me.


Yet, I am a good faithful woman. We all have curiosities and yes, it may get the best of us but I've never been one to fall into a sexual temptation before. And no matter how I explain the situation to him, his mind is already set. He gives me no room for, what he declares, my faults.


Forgiveness is frugal, no leniency to make amends, this relationship is maimed.  
It hurts me to have him value me this way. No matter how good I am, how much fruit my efforts bear, I'm deemed unworthy if, in his eyes, I'm tainted.


Love is the shackle, we are the captives.


He can't let go of a unworthy woman; I can't let go of a condescending egotistical man. 

Purse Organizer

I've been wanting a purse organizer since it came out a few years back. 


I actually got to checking them out and goodness, they are expensive! 


Heck, I just improvised instead! My current type of purse is the cross body purse and I like them in moderate size, which is proportion to my body size too. So, knowing the size of my purse helped me determine the amount of items to haul around with me. 


So, having this clear pencil pouch, purchased from Target, to go visit Tiff, I decided to put it into use. Fortunately, everything I carry fits in the pouch. Since the pouch is compact, it suppresses and holds everything into the place I'd put them in, so the items don't become loose and bulge out, creating a bulge in my purse! Moreover, the pouch makes it easy to transfer my items from one purse to another.

Floral Nails

With the volume of blandness and boredom I experience, I made an effort to try out floral inspired nails! 

Mini Vacation

Having to take Julie back to school in Irvine and take Yamee to see a nerve specialist in LA, turned out to be more of a mini vacation as opposed to it being a duty.


Upon arrival in Irvine, we visited 99 Ranch market so Julie can make a grocery purchase; and we dropped by a Sanrio gift shop, which dear Yamee bought me a planner for her token of appreciation and souvenir for this mini SoCal trip. After unloading Julie's luggage at her college apartment, we went to Tustin to an all you can consume Korean BBQ. Our tab was $92; which wasn't so bad for a KBBQ place. (I remember one Mother's Day, our three closely knitted families of relatives had buffet at a local Chinese restaurant, the tab was nearly a whopping $400!) The experience was good; I never thought that grilling and eating at the same time would be a bothersome task; some of my meat were over cooked and burnt 'cause I was busy eating. ^_^

It wasn't pleasant sleeping on those beds that is provided by the college. The bed was nice and firm at first but it became too hard on my hips and back; throughout the night, I tossed and turned, not to mention the soaring of the heat. I am used to the cool of my room at home and in Irvine, there's not air conditioning. But I still managed to get up on time, despite of my lack of sleep. We were on schedule, even with having to gobble down the spicy noodles Yamee made of breakfast. Traffic on the 405 was good; the carpool lane was excellent; we reached LA in good timing. We parked in the underground garage of the tiny mall/shopping plaza and waited 30 mins for Yamee's appointment. While she was away, Mary and I shopped at the used book store in the mall/shopping area. We had some good finds after a good hour; all these books, in good condition, just for $11! 

When Yamee returned from her appointment, we headed to San Gabriel to the Nail Supply House. The place was excellent, filled with an abundance of nail polish, acrylic powder, liquid, plastic nail tips, air blowers. The good thing about being on a budget is that you don't buy recklessly, so I invested in a good nail clipper- $2.99, some plastic nail tips, in all 9 sizes, with a total of 450 count- $3.50, an Orly polish- $3.49, and an Essie polish- $3.49. I am satisfied and proud of my purchase! 


We tehn drove down the street and had a very late lunch at Mama's Kitchen and had dumplings! It was delicious and the price ridiculously affordable! 

Then we wrapped up the day at Santee Alley, which is nothing new. I did purchase a ring, two Chinese fans 'cause I was hot and sweating! ^_^ 


We made it home by 9pm. 

Nothingness

I feel nothing. I know nothing. I get this lost.

Mother's Coach

This is mum's Coach. I love it! I can't wait to go shopping or travel with this purse; I'll be look so cool!! Lol!

Girl Baby Shower Decoration!

Today, I made some tissue flower for the baby happening in 2 weeks! I think they look really swell! They'll serve as table pieces! and I'm making more flower poms just to hang around the place! Lights and candles will make everything better when it gets dark!

Ever Made Your Own Cream Make Up?

I made some cream eye shadow this weekend and here are my results

Just add eye shadow to petroleum jelly and stir very!

Swatches!! Sweet Orange is a blush!

And I made some eye make up remover!

Lovebirds

If we can, we'd love to spend long periods of time with each other.

I've been thinking about him today, so I made him this card. A complimentary letter will also put a smile upon his face.

And though we only argued tonight, I still have so much affection for him. I don't recall ever despising him or getting upset with him. I love that he don't give me any stress.

I have a feeling he'll call back in the wee hours of the morning.

A poem for him, about him.

Make Up Makes Me Feel Good!

My summery evening look

Trying out the double eyelid illusion

What can I say, at my age, natural beauty needs some assistance. Lol!

And I enjoy playing with makeup, though I'm not too creative.

Weight Loss

I didn't lose so much weight but I did lose a lot of inches. I'm still going diligently.

Everything is Beautiful

Amongst the forgotten and faded,

tattered, scarred, and broken,

with beauty so deep beneath the surface,

no one finds your beauty,

nor knows of your elegance.

God forever blessed me

with a heart that was able to feel your beauty,

a mind capable enough to see your greatness,

and a soul that bathes in your tranquility.

Sweet Things Said

What's the sweetest thing your partner has ever said to you? What's the sweetest thing you've ever said to your partner?

I mean everything I say to him but I don't recall if I've ever said anything very sweet to him. Of course I flatter him and assure him that I love him but I don't recall saying anything that is very sweet, having him sighing for days.

But he has said something so sweet to me, I can't even believe he'd said it.

"Because of you, I have to stay alive."

Gosh, how heart warming can that statement get? Being in his position, and I just hearing this, makes my heart weak! It means so much to me that he'll strive to stay alive. It warms my heart that he'll stay alive already but, for me to be the reason to do so, gosh, it's tremendous! It's so honoring that it makes me want to return the honor to him. But what can top staying alive for someone?

Because of him, I'll do well and be successful. I love Tut!

I got seared

I went to the beach with family and friends; and though at Pismo Beach, it wasn't all that sunny, I still got seared, despite my SPF50 sunscreen. The sun and I are no match.

Impressive Results!

I'm on day 4 of my veggie and fruit fast and the results are impressive! So far, I've lost 5 pounds, that's 1.25 pounds in a day. But more impressive is how much my glucose level dropped. My fasting reading was around 230 and now it's 180! I'm so proud of myself.

I feel a difference in sensation in my feet too! My feet used to swell up, it looked all puffy, my toe nails would grow into my skin and penetrate the skin, causing a wound, and it would worry me of infection but now, it's changed. Through out the day, my feet don't swell up anymore and when I elevate it at night and wake up in the morning find that they are small/slim, it reliefs me and makes me happy! I was so concerned that I may one day get my feet amputated. But now I have hope! I wish to one day, completely get rid of my diabetes symptoms! I know that I'll live with this disease forever but I can get rid of the symptoms.

On another note, these days, I miss Tut so much! Not hearing from him makes miss him even more. The only comfort I have is knowing exactly what he's doing each hour of the day. I know that he thinks of me but not as much as I think of him. If he did think of me as much, he'd probably go crazy. But I'm glad he has a good mechanism of coping. I'm so proud of him. He's strong, emotionally and physically, after having to go through what he's been through. I believe he's the strongest person I've met so far and, in some way, some how this gives me leeway to be weak and emotional. I guess that knowing him and feeling his positivity, I finally feel like I have a place to rest my guard. But I still needn't to be this way. He's in a difficult place that requires support from all his loved ones, including me. I need to be strong and carry him through each day, month, year. And I will be strong, be it with all my effort. I want him to be okay and good. I love him.

Father, please lead me and Tut in this life, give us strength, give us motivation. May You be our strong hold as we begin this chapter of our life in Your eyes. In His precious name, amen.

Fast

I'm trying the fruit and veggie juice fast. I'm hoping for a great outcome!

Wish me luck!

This is day 1!

I've Been Crafty

I know I have summer goals but I've been so crafty lately. Lol!

Match-box gift holder, made from stock cards, ribbons, beads, and pattern paper; these are gift fro my 9 and 12 year old nieces.

I created a new bangle holder, recycling a CD spindle and toilet paper holder. I just used permanent tape to tape on the pattern paper.

My Craving!

I've been craving for Khaub Poob for 2 weeks now. I finally made some this weekend.

See, if anyone don't bother and tell me how to do this and do that, I can make perfectly delicious food! This has yet to be my best Khaub Poob ever!

I'm surprise my toddler nephews even like my cooking; you know how challenging it is to get kids to eat.

My Baby

Last night, I dreamed that I married an old cheating bastard, he's practically old as my father. Anyway, I have a daughter with her and her name is Summer.

So, the old bastard went over seas to see his mistress and left summer and I at home. I decided to leave him. For some odd reason, I was so helpless in this dream. I didn't have a car (which in reality, I do). So, I carried little Summer in my arms proceeded towards my mom's house, which was only across the freeway where I was living.

On our way back to my mom's, we were met with many people that tried to harm us or hinder us. Beaten with exhaustion and fear, I eventually broke down and cried. But I finally made it to my mom's.

My daughter is so adorable in my dream. She was more than I could've imagined. I loved her so much, even after I found out that she was a creation of the government and they wanted her back 'cause when she gets older, she's capable of destroying the world. I hid her from the government, even if she was going to become a monster. I love her dearly and I protected until I woke up.

That's quite a dream, huh?

Strangely, this is the second time I dreamed about a baby girl.

Baby Show Invitation

Finally, things are cracking! I started making the baby shower invitations! And I think they are adorable!!! I can't wait to see how the shower will unfold.

So far, I've compiled some games already. These are new and challenging games. I can't wait to see how people fair in these games.

Today, I'll be registering my sister-n-law at Walmart and Target!

Gosh, summer will be a full and busy one.

BTW, my first priority is working out, I need to get back on track!

I love myself! lol

Commitment

In my search of love, relationship, companionship, with all my endeavor, I finally came upon the person that is fully committed to me.

The only problem is, I'd never thought it'd be this hard, this bad that when I don't have anything to say or share, it triggers uneasiness in him. It's not that I've lost interests or have doubts. Sometimes, I blank out, not just to him, but to the whole world. That is incredibly hard to him to come to grasp.

Subjectively, we've reached the end of the honeymoon and we're beginning to settle in now. Change is difficult to fathom. I know that I'm not over him and I'd still want to be with him. I still get butterflies.

A Proposal Worth a Million Bucks!

OMG! All the tears and joy, all mixed together!

I'm so sick of this!

Gosh, losing weight is so damn difficult! I've never once complained or doubted myself until now! Losing that 5 pounds a week is terribly challenging.

I've already gained by 6 pounds of the 12 that I've lost! Gosh!

Here's a new plan of action. I'm going to consume more so I don't have such throbbing headaches. But I'll still cut down on portion size and stay away from carbs to avoid weight gain.

Thank goodness, summer is here so it'll be too hot to be eating pho! LOL

My goal is to drop 15 lbs by June.

I want this!

I'd love to have this necklace!