There is a particular countryside highway that I take to visit my love. This back road isn't taken by most and often times, I think I'm a lone traveler. Perhaps, once in a while, a few car will pass by here and there but the traffic is never stalling. The scene is full of farm land with two cluster of houses along that highway. The highway is so lonesome that I don't even see a sign that indicates what town I may be passing by. The highway is so lonesome and that I wouldn't dare travel it by the dark of night. The highway is so lonely that when I see even one single person working the land out there, I groan to myself that I'm not alone. I guess a perk of traveling this lonesome highway is because I feel that I can behavior however I like. This is the briefness where I take a moment to break laws about utilizing a cell phone when operating a vehicle, or break the speed limit. And I would still feel safe.
But this visit on April the 1st is a visit far different from all prior visits. Perhaps it had to do with the anxiety I was struggling with for the last two weeks. It may have been the downward spiral that my own bible study group cast me upon, or the immensity of receiving two rings from my love's mom, or was it the consistent confusion and self doubt I inevitably bear that may have tossed me into my own internal sea storm? I was just a ship that sailed out on a bright sunny day when I got with Tith but got lost and shaky at sea in those two last weeks. My confusion don't parallel with the oppression and disagreement of others. It's consistent with the fact that so much of my wants and desires are coming true and to be frank, I'm not sure what to make of it. I'm not quite ready; I can't embrace it yet. It's frightening.
It had rained the day and night before April 1st and on that morning, the eastern sky was clear and blue with its scattered puffy white clouds. The gleaming sun was the first thing in the sky to beckon my attention on that morning. As I was driving, the sun came along with nothing to block it, until I had to head west. Soon, I headed south and the sun was once again shinning at me from that crystal blue sky; to my right there's an overcast of gray clouds. Breaking the law as I usually normally do, I picked up my phone to check the lock down status of my love's building, not paying any mind to the weather or road conditions. By the time I looked up, my windshield was splattered with raindrops. I quickly struggled with the malfunctioning wipers. That only took a moment and then my windshield cleared up; I noticed a rainbow at a distance to my right. It was huge, vibrant, intimidating. I've always loved looking at rainbows and its bright colors but I've never for once in my life been so close to one before. I was just threw back by its grandness. I admire that piece of rainbow right in my view, just thinking about my love. And then I turned around saw the other end of the rainbow behind my car, also to the far right. I realized I was smack down in the middle of this grand rainbow. Finally, I see an entire rainbow, no part of it was blocked by the concrete industries of the city. This beautiful dragon* rose up right before me and I can see it end to end. Suddenly, I realize something. I'll see the end of this rainbow as I was driving.
So with the ever so popular Irish saying that at the end of a rainbow there is a pot of gold, metaphorically, I saw that Tith is my pot of gold. After all, I was driving to see my love, along the the rainbow and saw the ends of the light of the rainbow, beaming right from the ground or right down to the ground. With this thought, I couldn't be more excited about seeing the rainbow. And then I finally reached the end of the rainbow, driving so closely next to it, that if I had stopped the car and ran into that farm field, I could have been in the rainbow, the lights were so magnificent, so spectacular, overwhelming, I was actually scared. It felt supernaturally divine, with the sun shining on my left but rain poured on my car and gray skies to my right. I understand that scientifically, when the sun shines on rain droplets, it creates a rainbow on earth. However, I sincerely believe this rainbow was meant for me to see and appreciate.
After passing the rainbow, I turned around and looked at it a few more times and noticed it was fading away. I reflected on the meaning of a rainbow. According to Christianity belief, a rainbow is God covenant of peace to mankind, to never wipe out mankind on the face of the earth again. But the significance of the rainbow is more than just a covenant after the great world wide flood. It's God's promise of forgiveness and love to mankind. This is how I came to believe that God had reached out to me, to assure me in my current situation. Seeing this rainbow is the most compelling experience I've ever had. All my prayers for guidance, comfort, and assurance, was given to me when I saw this rainbow.
I know this rainbow was a sign from God himself; a sign to give me peace and assurance, to show love and forgiveness, not just for me but for Tith as well.
dragon*- In Hmong cultural, the rainbow is referred to as a dragon for its bright colors and immense size.
