Getting Back On Track

I've been so bad all summer. I got too sidetracked. I've got no one to blame but myself.

Anyway, I told myself last week that I'll get back on track again. I've been wanting a new phone and that was what I'd intended to do with my next check but it's better that I invest that money into gym membership. I think I got my diet and eating habits down. I just want to get back into my exercise routine. I really miss that. I've been making up too many excuses not to workout but now, I really want to, need to workout.

Another thing I need to get on is testing my glucose. I haven't been doing so routinely. But I told myself last week that I needed to be serious about my diabetes. So I started off good this morning. I got out of bed instead of lying in it until the late morning. I started my laundry, tested my glucose, and ate breakfast, which consisted of a tablespoon of peanut butter. I've been feeling well all morning. It's almost time for a little snack! Perhaps a nectarine will do, I'm feeling healthy!

Unforgettable Things

It was the anniversary of our second month of knowing each, or so he calls it. Funny how he never intended to be romantic with me but reminds of me of such small sentimental things. That night, as we were bidding our farewell for the night, he finally showed his true feelings for me. “I’m becoming undone.”, he said, “I love you, baby.”. I not only knew it but, felt it then that he’s becoming more than what he’d wanted to be. For the first time, I’m convinced and flattered and that he would feel such a way for me. Since then, our relationship has changed for the better and it’s reaching a new dawn.

Lately, his phone hasn’t been charging too well. I fear and hate that soon, I won’t be able to interact with him as I would like, not to mention, hear his voice. But I’m dismissing my desires and feelings ‘cause I want the best for him. This small sacrifice is nothing compare to the great reward of his homecoming in 9 years. 9, that is such a magical number to me. Every time something good or optimistic happens to me, it has an association with 9. That’s what I told him too. 9 years is nothing compared to our life time together. He is the choice of a companion. When he comes home, I want to be able to provide for him, love, family, friendship, wifehood, everything that will bring him a happy attitude and a daily smile. When he’s content, I am as well. When he explodes with joy, I get the best feeling.

He’s quite clever. He came up with a way of keeping me attached to him. He wants me to get a tattoo of his name, along my shoulder blade. That’s a sexy spot for a tattoo, he believes. It’s such a shame that he doesn’t acknowledge how attached I already am with him. Getting that tattoo is no big deal with me, however. I’d agreed to get it done after our first visit. He’s getting one of my name too. As if the tattoo aren’t enough, he wants us to make things between us “official”, become one, husband and wife. Last night, he asked me why am I hesitant to do so? What am I shy about?

How does one respond to such a question over the phone? Is he serious? Is this possibility of not talking to me regularly getting to him? Is he that quick to put a ring on me?

Just let me say this. I am not afraid. I am not hesitant nor am I shy. I only want what is best for him. When we first talked, he’d already told me that he doesn’t want any distraction. And I will honor his request. For me to be his wife while he isn’t here, I don’t know how much of that he’ll be able to handle. I know that I’m a good, faithful person but that won’t constitute for anything in the future. He’s doing so great, I don’t want to be the one to cut him down. I don’t want anyone to cut him down. I love him, I know it and I feel it. I’m certain that no matter where we go, our love and respect for each is unforgettable. No one leaves a good thing, not even for the better.

Return from Hiatus

Goodness, it's been so long! Well, it's not like anyone read my blog anyway.

Any who, diabetes has been the same. The replenishment of medication became inconsistent again. I told my doctor about it and she was fired up about it. She had her MA call the pharmacy and literally blew up at them. That was quite flattering, must I add. So, due to inconsistency of the medication, my labs were practically invalid, useless and I'll be going in again on June 16th. Hopefully, we'll make some progress. I'll be picking up medication today, refill time.

Well, I finally meet Paj Ntsa Vwj, again, at her fundraiser party! I enjoyed my self!

Nervous Wreck

Literally, my nerve felt absolutely weak and maybe even twitching yesterday at the gym. It was my initial return to the working out since December. I've done activities and such to put my muscles in motion, but to be vigorous, I haven't done so in quite some time. I know that working out shouldn't feel this way. However, I'm a diabetic, of a year and a half, now, one should expect things to be a tad different.

I remember when I started working out in 2004, I didn't feel weak or as if my muscles were going to give up on me. They were sore but nothing similar to making me feel like I was going to fall over. But being the champ I am, I sucked it up and continued working out. Don't get me wrong, I took it lightly and mainly worked with the weight machines with a seat. The weak feeling was still present but I felt a bit relieved and secured 'cause I was sitting.

I know that I'll need to be more careful, anything can happen, moreover, I should eat breakfast, perhaps. I know I should have some kind of indication of my disease. I do carry my medication cards with me but that's hardly any help. I really need to start looking for a medical ID bracelet.

Where should I look, any ideas?

My Medication

Thanks God for my parents!

Last summer, my dad had purchased this Chinese powdered medicine (I'm not disclosing the name) to for me to combat my diabetes. At first, I was skeptical (my typical reaction of Asian non-prescribed medication) of the healing ability of the med but I gave it a shot anyway. I had to mix a small amount (about the size of the tip of table spoon) with a quarter of a cup of water. Goodness! To my shock, the powder was acutely bitter, I gagged and nearly vomited everything. One hour later, I checked my blood sugar and surprisingly, it dropped by 100 unit! Amazing how it worked. From then, I relied on this Chinese powdered med to decrease the level of my blood sugar. In a sense, I was relieved! Then one day, it was gone, missing, perhaps I'd misplaced it. I couldn't find it anymore, unfortunately. I asked my parents for another bottle but they can no longer find the person that was selling it, sadly.

Well, finally, they were able to obtain a bottle for me, yesterday! But the medicine now comes in the shape of a solid pill, which made it so much easier to take. This time, no more mixing, no more gagging! It's just a simple little pill that I can easily swallow and be on my way. Before bed last night, I took one of the pills and I woke up this morning to happy feet! Literally! Usually, in the morning, I'd wake up to my feet feeling sensitive, swollen, numbing, and tingling, but this morning, I hardly felt any of those symptoms, like my feet are happy! Yes, I may possibly be under a placebo effect, regardless, I'm still feeling better!

I checked my fasting blood sugar this morning and it was 188. I know that's high but that's only 30-40- units short of having a normal blood sugar level for diabetics. I'm getting better and back on track! Must I add, it's a relieve to see that 188 'cause for a while there, my reading was always in the mid 200-300 range. See what I mean now?

The picture on the top is a photo of my current meds.

Somethings Concerning

I really hate being off track. Easter has just passed and I felt like a druggie being surrounded by crystal meth, so close at hand. I had all the sweets, the chocolates, the cake, the carbs, the greasy food all within my reach. It was so hard to contain myself. I'll admit, I had a little bit of everything, exceeding the max carb intake, I'm allowed. But I tried, I really tried, hard. Sadly, in the end, I failed miserably.

So after consuming all this junk, I didn't feel sick but I know my nerve was affected. The Sciatic nerve in my right leg started acting up, numbing the biceps femoris, it was agitating while sitting or lying down. I was only relieved when standing. After some walking, I was able to relax a bit. But that's not the only thing that is concerning.

I noticed that there is discoloration in my finger nails (I don't even want to mention about my toe nails) and numbing in my fingertips. Of course, a numbing sensation is subsequent to over ingestion of sweet or carbs, almost, always, specific to me. But I'm also thinking that the discoloration may also be a symptom of a nail treatment that I'm doing (attempting to lengthen and strengthen my nails with a nail polish solution). After all, I didn't noticed the discoloration, simultaneously, with the numbing before. Thus, I'm thinking that the nail treatment may have caused the discoloration.

I'm still trying to get back on my strict diet and exercise, and struggling with it. I just need to initiate and it'll take off from there.

Good night.

Being Sick Sucks

I feel as I've been doing well, managing my diabetes, for a bit until I ran out of medication. I tried to get a refill but it wasn't time yet, meaning, I had a waiting period before my insurance will cover for the drugs again. When this happened, it really threw me off track. You know, when you're numbers are high, it seems almost impossible to control it. That was exactly how I felt, helpless. Must I add that the high blood sugar really did a number on me. It affected everything, from my daily mood, to my appetite, to my sleeping habit, sensations in my feet, the numbing nerve in my right thigh caused from the Sciatica. It is horrible.

It's been about 3 weeks since my medication was refilled but I'm still struggling to get back on a managed level. It's been hard 'cause I was sick with the flu and that completely chased my appetite away. Moreover, I couldn't even keep anything in my stomach; it was bound to come back up or out the other way, soon after consumption. Not to mention, spending a night by the throne was no fun and overly disgusting. I haven't vomit that much since my 22nd birthday. But now, I'm recuperated from the flu and am looking forward to healthier and more energized days.

I feel as if today, I'm finally making some progress with my recovery of the high blood sugar and the restlessness from the flu. I rested better than usual last night and even had an awfully awkward nightmare. After work, I'm making Chicken Katsu and heading off to a bachelorette party.

Good day, thanks for reading.

Trying To Keep A Promise

Hi! I'm starting this blog as a tool to improve the quality of my life. I've been diagnosed with Diabetes Type II about a year and 2 months ago and it hasn't been fun. With this blog as a focus, I hope to improve on diabetes management.

I'll be sharing thoughts about my day, my feelings, my glucose reading, my diet, and activity. I'm also looking forward to reading comments and tips on Diabetes management. A little help goes a long way.